Fear

Although I've only been in STAC for a few months, I think I've learned more about myself in a few months than throughout all of middle school and high school. 

I've always felt the need to be better than everyone around me, which could be great motivation, but there will always be someone better than me no matter where I end up. There's been times when I just gave up because I was afraid of being worse. But if I'm the best won't it eventually end up getting boring? Someone who is second or third "best" will work their ass off to become the best, they will try harder than before, change things that didn't work, and try new things - this is exciting compared to doing the same old painting after painting with nothing to change. So maybe the fear of not being the best, is just what you use as an excuse for not trying?

Personally, I'm terrified of what others think about me. Luckily, I'm slowly but surely chipping away at my stone coating. On Friday, during improvs I didn't even try it until the last 30 minutes of class. I knew what I had to do, but I was afraid to do it because I might look "stupid". As we discussed that day, you will look more stupid for not trying and walking around in a circle not doing anything, than if you try and fail. So what if you fail? Then you learned how not to improv. I love succeeding, I love making people laugh; I definitely can't do that by walking around not trying, but when I put my fears behind me and tried I made people laugh, I wan't "stupid" I was just like everybody else who went up there and tried. 

"He who asks a question is a fool for merely a second, but he who has a question and doesn't ask is a fool for a lifetime." -Unknown

End of the Quarter!!
As most of you know it's that time again. It's the end of the quarter where my typically high anxiety shoots through the roof because of pointless grades that won't matter in 15 years from now. I am not sure if it's just how my brain is wired or how school has programmed us, as students, to think but the end of each quarter is the "end of the world", we all stress about finishing assignments that we placed on the back burners of our brain, freak out about idiotic dance teachers threatening to fail us, and getting off your ass to do your blogs that forgot about all quarter. Don't get me wrong, I do a fair share of work, but somethings are just bad old habits. I'm basically a fifth grader when it comes to long term assignments, cough cough blog posts, I always procrastinate and it ends up biting me in the butt. I always tell myself you'll do better next quarter, and never do. I try hard, just not "hard enough", I do my homework on a regular basis and do very well in Algebra 2/Trig and Biology, now English and History that's a different story. I have never loved reading, or even been good at it for that matter, but school is school and the corrupt educational system of New York makes the one thing I hate the most carry over into every subject. Have these people ever thought of the student's who are wired for numbers or chemical compositions? Schools spend so much time talking about not to stereotype, yet the whole Board of Education does it by saying that kids hate math. Herricks has extra help classes for math and science, where's the one that I need? Why do we have easier courses for math, but not English? News flash, no one is perfect! Now I can't rant on and on for days about how little sense modern education makes, but back to my point; I'm actually going to do all of my work now...

The Accidental Masterpiece: Chapter 1

The picture above is called "The Window". In this picture I feel like I am in Europe. The red roves, light blue water, and textured streets capture the looks of Europe spot-on. I really love this painting because it not only shows Bonnard's environment, but it also shows us, the viewers, what he loves.


In the picture above, "The Almond Tree in Bloom" I feel like it is a brisk fall day. I was lead to believe that it is fall by the leaves on the ground, and the colors on the trees around the focal point. I like this painting for one main reason, the contrast between warm and cool colors. As a viewer I have always loved contrasting colors because of the way it moves my eyes around the canvas, but it's so hard to do without overriding the piece with colors. I love how Bonnard is able to add contrast, but not take away from the focus of the painting.


In the final painting I have decided to review I can sense a feeling of mystery. Its seems to be dark a gloomy because of the deep shadows and the woman's, Martha, facial expressions. To me, it seems like she is trying to leave through the open door, but for some reason she knows that she can't leave.

The Accidental Masterpiece: On the Art of Life and Vice Versa

After reading the intro to The Accidental Masterpiece: On the Life of Art and Vice Versa by Michael Kimmelman I'm very interested in reading the rest of this book. I usually find myself bored after reading introductions; however, boredom is far from what I and many others have been feeling.

As discussed in class, a good writer does less work so the reader has to do more. This introduction was so deep and easy to connect to, yet it was just a few short pages. Michael Kimmelman was able to put so much into so few words. There were so many parts where I had to go back and re-read because I just couldn't get enough. I was honestly left in aw by how much he could put into words. There is so much that an artist feels, but many such as I just can't put into words. Because of that, when a writer is able to express so much in so little I instantly fall in love with their little black words printed on the freshly recycled paper.