Fear

Although I've only been in STAC for a few months, I think I've learned more about myself in a few months than throughout all of middle school and high school. 

I've always felt the need to be better than everyone around me, which could be great motivation, but there will always be someone better than me no matter where I end up. There's been times when I just gave up because I was afraid of being worse. But if I'm the best won't it eventually end up getting boring? Someone who is second or third "best" will work their ass off to become the best, they will try harder than before, change things that didn't work, and try new things - this is exciting compared to doing the same old painting after painting with nothing to change. So maybe the fear of not being the best, is just what you use as an excuse for not trying?

Personally, I'm terrified of what others think about me. Luckily, I'm slowly but surely chipping away at my stone coating. On Friday, during improvs I didn't even try it until the last 30 minutes of class. I knew what I had to do, but I was afraid to do it because I might look "stupid". As we discussed that day, you will look more stupid for not trying and walking around in a circle not doing anything, than if you try and fail. So what if you fail? Then you learned how not to improv. I love succeeding, I love making people laugh; I definitely can't do that by walking around not trying, but when I put my fears behind me and tried I made people laugh, I wan't "stupid" I was just like everybody else who went up there and tried. 

"He who asks a question is a fool for merely a second, but he who has a question and doesn't ask is a fool for a lifetime." -Unknown